With deep sadness....

It is with heavy hearts we let everyone know that our family has not been chosen as Theo's forever family. A family has not yet been chosen and my heart aches for this little boy, knowing how vital it is especially at this time in his life that he is developing bonds with the people who will be caring for him throughout his life, I pray that he will find his family soon and not be in alternative care for too much longer. We want him to be happy, to grow and develop to his potential and most of all to feel the love that he craves and deserves. We pray that the ones who are meant to be his family will come forward and that his birth parents will know in their hearts that they are the right family for him. We can't imagine how difficult this must be for them, to wait, to have to read through people's lives and decide if it is a match for their child, if they can entrust this precious child to their care. We will continue our search for the child that is meant to come to our home, but we will never forget Theo, as he was the catalyst that brought us to this point, he will forever be loved by us and in our hearts.

Beautiful People

This post is not about adoption per say, but perhaps it gives a little insight on my desire to adopt a special kind of child. Yesterday as we sat in the waiting room of the clinic that provides Ethan’s therapy I was privileged to see two of the most beautiful people I have had the pleasure of encountering. When I say beautiful this is not to say that they were physically attractive but that their presence was beautiful. These two young girls age eleven and twelve both receive therapy due to being born very premature and both have global delays and are clearly mentally challenged. They had not met before but were immediately drawn to each other and made their introductions and were fast friends. The thing that struck me most was how happy they were, the pure joy of simply being themselves. It is something that many children with cerebral palsy and many other conditions that cause a variety of “delays” share….they may be physically and mentally challenged, but they are spiritually gifted. When I look at these people, who in our world have more right or excuse to be depressed, angry, resentful or negative about the lot life has presented them with, and yet they aren’t, in fact they have more hope, more courage, more happiness than their peers who have more typical lives. There is a little boy, a few years older than Ethan, who sometimes shares a therapy room with us who also has CP, however, it is spastic quadriplegia and he has painful contractures, it is clear from his cries that therapy is agonizing, but when his session is done he always has a huge smile for his therapist. If only we could all be that forgiving, harbor no resentment to those who have wronged us. There are so many qualities that seem to be part of what makes up these special children that I admire and aspire to. They are genuine, they are loving, they are forgiving, they are patient, kind, and always willing to rise to a challenge. I see something amazing when my own son interacts with people, strangers. He is inviting and warm, his smile welcoming and contagious and it makes people pay attention to him, want to talk to him and be near him. It doesn’t matter that he can’t walk and that people can’t understand him when he talks, that he is different, he loves life and this is a quality that many of these children share and that is why they are so beautiful to me.

Prim Rose Bonnet

All of my Bonny Wee Bonnet sets start with and inspired hat. The Prim Rose set was originally designed for preemie size babies, but I have finally gotten a pattern written for the bonnet in size 3-6 months. If you use this pattern, please consider making a donation to our adoption fund at the top of our blog page in the right column. Please also follow our blog as we hope to eventually add all the patterns for each piece of this beautiful layette.

Prim Rose Bonnet

Needle size 4 mm

Small amount white and color of choice Bernat Baby Sport yarn

CO 60
Garter Stitch (knit every stitch) 3 rows
Next row purl (wrong side)
Stockinet stitch next 20 rows
Decrease as follows:
*k8, k2t* repeat to end
K across (wrong side)
*k7, k2t* repeat to end
K across
*k6, k2t* repeat to end
K across
*k5, k2t* repeat to end
K across
*k4, k2t* repeat to end
K across
*k3, k2t* repeat to end
K across
*k2, k2t* repeat to end
K across
*k1, k2t* repeat to end
K across, break off yarn, leaving a long tail, thread through remaining 12 stitches and pull tight and sew back seam along decrees edge.

Lace Trim

3.25 mm needles

Cast on 4 and knit one row
Row 1: K2, yo, k2 (wrong side)
Row 2 and every even row: Knit
Row 3: K3, yo, k2
Row 5: K2, yo, k2tog, yo, k2
Row 7: K3, yo, k2tog, yo, k2
Row 8: Bind off 4, k to end
repeat these 8 rows for the pattern until you have a long enough length for front of bonnet ( Mine took 14 triangle points to match the length of the front of the bonnet)
Sew lace trim to front of bonnet.

Neck edge and tie

PU 52 stitches along neck edge and then CO 18 stitches
K across
K to last 4 st k2t, yo, k2
K across
BO
Weave in loose ends and securely affix button closure.
If desired embellish with knitted or crochet flowers and leaves or embroidered flowers.


Pattern by: Becky Bright of Bright Creations 2011 for the Bitterblue collection.

I hate not having any news to post about....

....and I haven't got anything new to post about right now. The agency facilitating Theo's adoption has received our home study a week ago. Hopefully it has given them a better idea of our family situation and given them something that they can present to Theo's family so they can decided if we are the right family for this little boy. We know we still have a few weeks before the courts certify us to adopt....I anticipate this around the second to third week of July. I am anxious waiting as life can not keep me busy enough to not think about this sweet little boy waiting for his forever family and just hoping and praying it will be someone who is ready for the challenge and will love him no matter what. I know the transition from his interim care to his forever family will probably be quite difficult and I have been preparing my self physically and mentally in the event that WE are the ones that get that phone call telling us we can come and get our baby and at the same time preparing myself emotionally as well as everyone else here in the event that we are not the ones chosen. In our home this week following Ethan's surgery we have still been working very hard on getting back to where we were before "recovery" which went smoother and faster than I anticipated for Ethan. He is already back to using the potty because transferring from the wheelchair to his special toilet chair isn't as difficult or painful as we thought it would be and the cloth inserts in the gdiaper help him remember that he needs to use the potty rather than a diaper for toileting. His teacher will be thrilled about this when he goes back to school in August because it has been one of his IEP goals this past school year and at times he was a little difficult about doing it because he didn't want to wait for an aid to be able to help him and it was easier to use the disposable diaper. Now in the gdiapers he is really proud when it is still dry every time, even over night, when he asks to use the bathroom. It is a VERY big accomplishment....for all of us.

So touched....

I guess it is because I don't see what I do day in day out as extraordinary or special I was shocked and humbled when I read my husband's nomination (of me) for KEZ Woman of the Year. This is just my life and I am the one who feels honored and blessed to be able to parent a child with exceptional needs because I get the privilege of witnessing miracles every day. I really think that if more people experienced what I have experienced in my son that there would not be so many special needs children in foster care or available for adoption. YES, it is hard, physically, emotionally and financially to raise children who need a lot of extra care, but it is incredibly fulfilling. You get back so much more than you give.
KEZ999 Woman of the Year
I guess I was probably even more emotional about it today than I would have been ordinarily because I got the call after I had just gotten home from Ethan having surgery today. Even though it was routine, it is still very hard to see him go through the pain of recovery. Thankfully my little man is now sleeping.....as comfortably as can be expected....after his orchiopexy (I hope that is spelled correctly), apparently it is very common for little boys with Cerebral Palsy to need this surgery.

Frog Set

I was working on some small size diaper covers and thought I would make a whole matching set. Helen and I tie-dyed them and then stenciled the little frogs on them.

Baby Registries

Just my list of mostly wants, but a few still needed items as we get ready. We have all the immediately necessary items. And of course I am still waiting for the news of if Theo will be our baby and then I will be asking specific details to make it as smooth a transition as possible, like what brand and style bottles/nipples he takes. We already know what formula he is on so are making sure we have at least one can of that type on hand, although with the last report I got on his feeding difficulties we may be talking to the doctor about the possibilities that Neocate might make feeding easier on his tummy. All of my kids experienced sensitivity to Similac formulas, so it could be as simple as changing over to enfamil but we are keeping an open mind that the Neocate may be the best option for possible food allergies.....maybe even go so far as to finding a breast milk donor if it means he will be more comfortable and be able to grow and enjoy life right now.

Babies"R"Us - Baby Registry

Target Baby Registry

Excited!!!!

ALL paperwork is now in.....home study has been written! It is being over-nighted to Juvenile Court TODAY!!!! What a relief to have this part done. Now? You guessed it....more waiting. Just waiting for the court to approve it and send the adoption certification. If everything goes smooth and to the timeline we were given.....it could be done in 3-4 weeks :0)

Keeping busy....

For my birthday, I picked out this beautiful fabric and over the last few days I made a Mei Tai Carrier and a beautiful one of a kind diaper bag. This is the first time that I have made anything like a diaper bag and I am excited about how it turned out and it is very roomy and has pockets for all the baby necessities and room for my wallet too and lots of extra room too! I can't wait to get to use them! Plus I took the kids shopping yesterday and let them pick out some adorable little clothes. Don't know what I am going to do now as I am running out of things that we need right now!

YEAH!!!!! Just got notice!

.....from Juvenile Court that our fingerprints have been filed! It was a long wait so WE ARE OVER THE MOON excited....that means that our home study should be filed this week!!!!!!

Giving Back....

I know this story is not related to our adoption, but it is so very important that I am posting it to all of my blogs. One of my longest friends growing up, Kym, is friends with a woman who's husband was killed recently in Afghanistan. She is the mother of an 18 month old little boy and is expecting their second child in just a few months. I can't even imagine what this mother is going through at the moment, losing a husband and provider and facing raising these two small children without a dad. I know if it was me, I would be pretty destroyed and lost at the moment and would be in need of a lot of community support. My friend came to me because of our own recent fundraising efforts and we talked about some ideas to help this woman and her babies. One of the ideas we came up with was to do a diaper drive. We did talk about cloth and alternatives, but neither of us are sure how easy this would be for this mom and we are trying to make her life a little easier. So I contacted major diaper manufacturers and sellers, well I got something promising back from diapers.com, offering to set up an account for the woman so that donations could be made to the account and she could purchase what she needed from the donations they received. I liked this idea because diapers.com sells a lot more than just disposable diapers like formula, clothes and other diapering options. I am sad to say that both Luvs and Pampers were very disappointing saying they only donate on the national level and found myself thinking that if it was not for women in her situation, who's husbands have fought for our country and way of life over the last couple hundred years, there wouldn't be a "national level". I was a little annoyed to say the least, BUT I know there are a lot of individuals out there with very giving hearts that would be more than happy to donate....I know that even small donations help because when a dozen or more small donations come in they really add up. I will post links to the diapers.com account as soon as it is set up. In the mean time, here is a link to Staff Sergent Apolinar's story, and as always, we appreciate all of your love and support. You have given so much to us, and it is time we all give back:

http://www.kvoa.com/news/brewer-statement-on-glendale-soldier-killed-in-afghanistan/

New set finished...

Another set finished for the new baby. I fell in love with the little crochet loafers I saw so I bought the pattern and adapted the little newsboy hat to go with it and made the little shorts and tie applique onsie with coordinating fabric from my stash.

PROGRESS update

Look how much Theo has grown! I got an update on him June 1st and I think he is doing quite well considering all he has been through. We also signed the release documents so that our home study agency can send all our information to the agency in NY. We have been talking to the kids A LOT about everything and all possibilities lately, preparing them for either outcome whether we are chosen as Theo's family or if another family is chosen. We talked about being happy for Theo that he has a family to love him and take care of him even if it is not us and reassuring them that even if we are not chosen to be Theo's family we will still be looking for a baby who needs a family like us. They are very excited about being big brothers and sisters and talk about Theo all the time. Another big surprise is the girls have started to get maternal and take care of dolls, which is something that they had little interested in before we started talking about adopting this little boy, and at the moment they are pushing the stroller around the front room. It is all very sweet and I know they will love the baby we get to adopt!