Our Adoption Journey!

A journal of our thoughts, feelings and steps in the process of adopting a child with significant special needs.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Movie night....

Tonight is movie night. Projector is set up with the huge drop down screen on the wall. Kids are getting their sleeping bags and pillow set up so when it gets dark we can all watch movies until we fall asleep....wondering what we will be watching? Harry Potter? Narnia? Lord of the Rings? We tried to convice dad to let us have a twilight saga night, but her said he would put the projector away if we put that on.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Because I have been given much...

A few days ago I "met" a woman online who just lost her husband. She has three small children and is also expecting a baby girl and has nothing. I find myself in a possition where I can help her out, as we have plenty of baby girl items and knowing that it could be months, possibly even years before we are matched with a child, so I have desided to send some baby girl stuff to this woman. I don't know what I would do if I lost my husband, I know I would be devistated, but I also know that financially we would be taken care. I know many young families don't plan for this type of life event, because we just don't think it could happen to us. I am thankful for a husband who has always been concerned about "what if" to have insurance that would take care of our immediate needs. I am glad we have developed a plan and taked about what we would do if we suddenly found ourself on our own due to accident, illness, etc. No one knows what the future holds, or the time we will spend here with our loved ones, so we plan for the worst and enjoy every moment. And when we find ourselves in a possition to porvide comfort we need to be there, no matter if it is a friend or a stranger. We are the only ones that can make the world a better place, and change can only begin with us. I pray that this woman will find peace and that she will be provided for. What I can give is just a small gesture, but it is a symbol, of hope, that may be what she needs to get through this moment, to the next.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Sharing from another blog....

This quote says it all:

"By adopting a child and helping them reach their potential, they help us reach ours. An adopted child is not an unwanted child; to the contrary. They are a child who was searched for, prayed for, cried for, begged for; received by arms that ached, making empty hearts full. Love is meant to be shared"

Trafalgar Square

My newest knitted set I designed and finished to keep me busy while waiting to hear back on the babies I have inquired on....

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

All about Us....

We are hoping to add to our family through adoption, will you be the one to choose us? Our children are our greatest joy, and our most magnificent accomplishment. We can only imagine what a difficult time you are going through and the magnitude of the choices you are now faced with making. We admire you that you have chosen life and want a life full of love and opporunities for your child. It is doubly difficult because we know your child is very loved and very much wanted, but understand that circumstances maybe are not right for you to parent your child at this time, or maybe you are overwhelmed at the uncertainty of a dibilitating condition. Why are we wanting to adopt a child with special needs? Well, just over 10 years ago our life was blessed by a very special child. Our son Ethan suffered a significant brain injury during his birth. It was a wonderful and difficult time for us. Wonderful because we had this beautiful and precious child, we were now a family, but what life held for him was a very bleak picture at that point. We were told if our son lived, he would be in a vegitative state, but this did not change our hopes and dreams for him. We took him to many doctors/specialist, clinics, therapists. He smiled at us, interacted with us, showed us more love than we could have imagined possible. Doctors never stopped painting a grim picture for this little boy, but we didn't care, this child was amazing. We learned to see the world a different way. We had to learn to be mean and agressive to get the services and care our son needed, we learned incredible patience and tollerance. Special needs became our life, and we have been blessed because of it. We chose to adopt a child with special needs, because these kids are amazing. They have tremendous courage, and strength that typically abled children don't have. We feel that our experiences with our son gives us a unique advantage to give another special needs child the best opportunity to become all they can because we have been through the challenges before. We can be optimistic while still being realistic. I encourage you to find out more about our family by reading below as well as our other blog posts and see if we feel like the right choice for you!
We are currently a family of six, but we hope to soon be a family of seven (or even maybe eight if a set of twins or young siblings join us!) We are a family that loves nothing more than spending time together. Weither it is just watching a movie, swimming, cooking, hiking in the mountains or on a grand adventure it is always better when we do it together. We also have a large extended family which includes members from several races including Native American, East Indian and African American. We are multi-cultural with family all over the world from England to New Zealand! Our kids have been international travelers from a very young age and we still have many travel destination dreams, but much of our travel right now is weekend trips in our big family van so that our son Ethan can stay comfortable and mobile in he power wheelchair. Which means we get to go to vistit grandpa in New Mexico or drive to California for a day at the beach. We have a lot of traditions that we can't wait to share with our new family member....like Guy Faux (bonfire night, Nov. 5th) or just individual time with mom and dad (each of our kids rotate weekends where they get to stay up late and spend one on one time with us), or geo caching (treasure hunting) on our weekend road trips!
We live in a large 2200 square foot 4 bedroom home on 1/3 acre. Our boys share a room, and our girls share a room, and we have one open which we have set up as a nursery for when our new addition arrives. We have a large yard where the kids love to spend time in imaginative play, where I grow a vegetable garden and where our dog, 7 chickens and 3 rabbits live. We also have a seperate securely fenced pool! Our house is completely wheelchair accessable and set up for a child with many physical limitations. Our house is in a cul-de-sac in a very family oriented neighborhood with parks, schools and shopping within walking distance.

Terry is 44 years old. He is an amazing father, a loving husband, a devoted son, a brother, a wonderful friend, and an abundant provider. He loves to cook, go camping, play pool, watch movies, build and fix computers, play with our kids, go for long drives through the country side. He has four great kids who adore him, and he is a great dad. He is firm but very loving.

Terry works as an IT director for a local charter school, which means he gets to spend a lot of time with his family. He has been in this same job for over 6 years now, but has also enjoyed working as a contractor in the IT field, teaching at Northern Arizona University. He graduated from University with a degree in accounting, but computing has always been his passion.

Terry was born in the United Kingdom, and is the oldest of 5 children. He grew up in poverty and has always had a goal that he would do something with his life and he certainly has! He immigrated to the USA in 2000 when he met and married me ;0).

Terry is a very upbeat person, a bit of a character. When I met him he was always on the go, unstopable. He has settled down a bit since getting married and having children. He is very structured, consistant, motivated and resourceful. Adopting a child with special needs is only natural for him. His oldest son Ethan has special needs, and Terry himself has a visual impairment that has had tremendous impact on his life. Terry will provide our adopted child with the same love, devotion and continuity he provides our biological children.

My name is Becky. I am 36 years old. I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a teacher, a student, an artist, a musician, a child of God. I love to read, garden, cook, sew, knit, sculpt, sing, go camping, take pictures, spend time with my family. I have four great kids, and would have had more, but labor/delivery was hard on both me and my babies; I only took one home with me from the hospital and it is ever so hard to leave the hospital with empty arms, so we have desided to grow our family through adoption. Our lives have been particularly touched by children with extraordinary needs, and because of this our hearts are drawn to those kids who need extra help and care. This journey began 5 years ago, but with four very young children we did not begin searching in earnest until a little boy named Theo, who has CP found his way into our hearts.

In the past I have worked as a nanny, in customer service, administration in the medical field, as an artist and now I am a stay at home mom. I aspire to be a "healer" not a doctor ;0) I learn everything I can about natural and alternative medicine; education and learning is very important to me. While I may never finish my degree, I encourage all my children to do there best in school with a goal to attend college. I am very proud to say that my children at the tender ages of 6, 7, 8 and ten have goals to be a physical therapist, a teacher, a nurse and a cheif.

I feel so very blessed to have a wonderful husband, who is an amazing hands on dad and works very hard so that I can stay home and raise our children. We work well together, strengthen each other. He is my solace and my strength. We often dream aloud together of our future and make goals and plans. We are all very lucky to have him working in the education field, so he is often able to spend school holidays and vaccation together as a family.

I am generally happy and cheerful. I have spent considerable time in charitable endevours that focus around preemies and infants and children in need and this has blessed my life, given me focus and help me develop my skills. I strive to be "green" with a goal of self sufficiency. I am patient. I am shy. I can be stubborn. I try to think and plan before I act. I try to consider others and look at things from many perspectives. I tend to think nothing is imposible. I am an optimist. I am a survivor. I admire courage, selflessness, resourcefulness. I aspire to be all that my Heavenly Father has meant for me to be.

If you have any further questions, please contact us at: becky@preemie-babies.com

Waiting to hear back

on two little boys and one little girl (Helen and Chloe would be so over the moon) out of the six we inquired on over the weekend. The three other little boys we were not selected for because they needed to be placed with in their current states. I am thinking I might finish up the "gender neutral" cover for the carseat today to keep me busy once I have finished a few chores so I am not waiting on pins and needles for news on the three little ones!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Letting go...

After much research and advice I am changing my tactics. Before I would only inquire on one available child and let other situations slip away while waiting weeks and even months to find out we were not what the birth family was looking for. So I am now keeping things open, and inquiring on multiple children at a time, knowing that it is not in my hands, but in our Father in Heaven's and he will make sure that the child that is meant for us comes to our family. I have faith that the child who needs us will find his or her way "home". I hope that this will make it easier even though I may have to be very patient for quite a long time. I have hopes that it will not take the 18 months that our certification is good for, and since we are very open, and specifically seeking special needs that it won't take more than 6-12 months to find "our child". I will continue to pray for guidance and situations to present themselves to us, and inspiration on where to search for a child who is just waiting for us.

Friday, September 2, 2011


It seems almost cruel going into most of these situations virtually blind, waiting so long with hopes building up only to discover that you have one to many children for birth parents to consider you for their child. I look back and think how many situations we were presented with in that time and how we held back to only one inquiry at a time until it was pretty clear we would not be chosen. It almost seems dishonest that an agency won't tell you up front that you don't meet a birth families requirements. I KNOW our child is out there somewhere waiting for us, waiting for his or her parents to be introduced to us (our profile), but searching and waiting and having your hopes dashed is very draining. Day after day looking into the eyes of a picture on the computer and thinking, "we COULD be what you need, what you have been hoping for." The child we were hoping for, though he has not found a home yet, we found out through another agency that his birth mom is looking for a family with less children than we already have. I understand. I look at it from her perspective, wanting a family that can offer him the maximum attention possible. I also see it from another perspective as a mom of four children, that this baby would be blessed to not only have a dad who works hard to provide, a mom that stays home with him to make sure he gets the care and nurturing he needs, but four siblings to dote on him, to encourage him, to play with him....four extra hearts to love him unconditionally. Birthmom, your child will be so very loved in our family. They will not be neglected or want for more attention. ALL of us will give your child boundless love and devotion. I wish you could see my girls at church, loving on the eleven month old little girl who's family always sits in front of us. I wish you could see Ethan's smile that says more than words could ever say when he sees a baby, love radiates from him. I wish you could see Mark's gentleness and compassion as he searches for ways to help. You can be sure that even though we have four children already, we won't spread ourselves thin. Love doesn't stretch, it grows!