Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Our match meeting is scheduled and in a few weeks we will know the answer that we have been waiting months to hear: If we are selected to be his forever family. For now we are busy with last minute things that we need to take care of, both sorting out a new agency to represent us and getting last minute things ready for if we are chosen and we bring our new little boy home. I am at peace, comfortable knowing we have made our choice already and knowing that there will be an end to the waiting soon and that it is completely out of our hands now. I probably won't have much more to write about until the metting happens in February. I have not even felt like looking at any other available adoption situation, and many have been presented to us. I just feel in my heart that this is the one that is meant for us, no need for a back up plan as I won't be giving up and letting go of this child.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sometimes it is really nice to be the first one up on the first day of a new year, to reflect on what the past year has seen you through...even more amazing to see what an incredible year it has been. I have to say that I am so pleased with what has been accomplished and what we have gotten through together, and that I couldn't have hand picked a better bunch of kids to parent, and I am not just talking about Ethan, though he continues to be my biggest inspiration. As I stood there watering all the newly planted crops in my green house, I thought on the challenges that together we have faced, the heartache we have endured, and the tasks we have conquered. I thought on the two baby boys that found their way into our hearts that we had longed to welcome into our family, the months of rollercoaster emotion, the bitter sweetness of loss mingled with the joy we felt for them as they found their forever families. The difficulty within myself as I reached for what I thought was an imposible dream, putting my heart on the line once again to reach out to a child who I know in my heart is meant to be a part of us, this family. Things have not moved as quickly and smoothly as I had hoped for this journey, but I know in the end it will all have been worth it. And while on this journey I have enjoyed and amazing experience. Watching my children grow, and mature, and accomplish things that at times I did not dare to dream or hope for. I am thankful that I have been able to keep an open heart and mind this year. I feel very blessed to have reconnected with my father, to start to explore my heritage and share that joy with my children. I share the joy with Ethan at accomplishing things that may seem small to other parents, but are tremendous accomplishments for a child with his challenges. I draw incredible strength from my husband, who is my rock, who loves me more than anything, even when we don't see things quite the same way. I feel passion for my kids, who keep me young, full of wonder and keep me motivated and determined. I hope this year will continue as the past with love, joy, hope, and discovery and learning, that we will all continue to not only endure, but challenge and face head on what ever lies ahead.