It seems almost cruel going into most of these situations virtually blind, waiting so long with hopes building up only to discover that you have one to many children for birth parents to consider you for their child. I look back and think how many situations we were presented with in that time and how we held back to only one inquiry at a time until it was pretty clear we would not be chosen. It almost seems dishonest that an agency won't tell you up front that you don't meet a birth families requirements. I KNOW our child is out there somewhere waiting for us, waiting for his or her parents to be introduced to us (our profile), but searching and waiting and having your hopes dashed is very draining. Day after day looking into the eyes of a picture on the computer and thinking, "we COULD be what you need, what you have been hoping for." The child we were hoping for, though he has not found a home yet, we found out through another agency that his birth mom is looking for a family with less children than we already have. I understand. I look at it from her perspective, wanting a family that can offer him the maximum attention possible. I also see it from another perspective as a mom of four children, that this baby would be blessed to not only have a dad who works hard to provide, a mom that stays home with him to make sure he gets the care and nurturing he needs, but four siblings to dote on him, to encourage him, to play with him....four extra hearts to love him unconditionally. Birthmom, your child will be so very loved in our family. They will not be neglected or want for more attention. ALL of us will give your child boundless love and devotion. I wish you could see my girls at church, loving on the eleven month old little girl who's family always sits in front of us. I wish you could see Ethan's smile that says more than words could ever say when he sees a baby, love radiates from him. I wish you could see Mark's gentleness and compassion as he searches for ways to help. You can be sure that even though we have four children already, we won't spread ourselves thin. Love doesn't stretch, it grows!
