Holding my Breath....

....hoping that the certification comes back from the court this week. The weekend away did help some....but I had a stomach bug while we were there so it was not quite as relaxing as I would have liked. In the mean time I have been looking through profiles online of children waiting for families and it has made me a little sad that we can't do more, but we are not going to spread our selves thin, we want to make a difference in the life of the child we adopt. There are so many children with a vast array of medical conditions in foster and medical care facilities that could benefit exponentially from having a loving and devoted family. I want families to know, that these children, though a lot of work, bring so many blessings.....they change lives. They need and deserve a life time commitment as it is likely they will need care for as long as they live. I know how much it made an impression on a friend that was in our home one day with my husband talking about gardens. They were talking about what they will be doing with their yards in the future, in retirement, and Terry made the comment, "....one day, when it is just the three of us (speaking of him, me, and Ethan)..." it really made an impression on her that it was just understood that Ethan would be with us forever, and it is the same for a child we add to our home through adoption....it is a life long commitment, not just until legal adulthood....that is what families should be about after all. I certainly would never raise our "typically-abled" children to believe that parenting magically ends at age 18, I hope they know they can come to me at any time and I will be here for them. I find that my grand parents had a profound impact on me in this. You see, my grandfather was a carpenter and a man of great wisdom and vision. While growing his family of eight children he made a plan and built his dream....that dream consisted of a 2 acre parcel (I think that was the size of his lot) where he built his home, and then 13 little apartments 8 with 2 bedrooms (one for each of his children) and 5 with 1 bedroom each and he planted fruit and nut trees and gardens so that no matter what happened in life, his children would always have something to come back to, a place to live and fresh food to eat, and I know that several of them, in their adult lives had to take advantage of Grandpa's legacy. I was terribly upset when up on Grandma's passing that the kids sold it all....gave my grandfather's dream away for a small temporary financial boost. I keep that idea, that dream in my heart, and I don't know if I will ever be able to do as much as my grandpa, but early in our marriage we did buy a small piece of property, with a similar idea. A 5 acre property where we could eventually build a home, customized to Ethan's needs and build a house for each of our children so they would always have a place to come if the whole world went wrong on them. That piece of land has been my security, and through stressful times an escape and solace....a part of a dream in progress that I hope will transcend my own life in to the lives of not only my children and grandchildren but posterity of generations to come.