We have a date!

Our match meeting is scheduled and in a few weeks we will know the answer that we have been waiting months to hear: If we are selected to be his forever family. For now we are busy with last minute things that we need to take care of, both sorting out a new agency to represent us and getting last minute things ready for if we are chosen and we bring our new little boy home. I am at peace, comfortable knowing we have made our choice already and knowing that there will be an end to the waiting soon and that it is completely out of our hands now. I probably won't have much more to write about until the metting happens in February. I have not even felt like looking at any other available adoption situation, and many have been presented to us. I just feel in my heart that this is the one that is meant for us, no need for a back up plan as I won't be giving up and letting go of this child.

What a year!

Sometimes it is really nice to be the first one up on the first day of a new year, to reflect on what the past year has seen you through...even more amazing to see what an incredible year it has been. I have to say that I am so pleased with what has been accomplished and what we have gotten through together, and that I couldn't have hand picked a better bunch of kids to parent, and I am not just talking about Ethan, though he continues to be my biggest inspiration. As I stood there watering all the newly planted crops in my green house, I thought on the challenges that together we have faced, the heartache we have endured, and the tasks we have conquered. I thought on the two baby boys that found their way into our hearts that we had longed to welcome into our family, the months of rollercoaster emotion, the bitter sweetness of loss mingled with the joy we felt for them as they found their forever families. The difficulty within myself as I reached for what I thought was an imposible dream, putting my heart on the line once again to reach out to a child who I know in my heart is meant to be a part of us, this family. Things have not moved as quickly and smoothly as I had hoped for this journey, but I know in the end it will all have been worth it. And while on this journey I have enjoyed and amazing experience. Watching my children grow, and mature, and accomplish things that at times I did not dare to dream or hope for. I am thankful that I have been able to keep an open heart and mind this year. I feel very blessed to have reconnected with my father, to start to explore my heritage and share that joy with my children. I share the joy with Ethan at accomplishing things that may seem small to other parents, but are tremendous accomplishments for a child with his challenges. I draw incredible strength from my husband, who is my rock, who loves me more than anything, even when we don't see things quite the same way. I feel passion for my kids, who keep me young, full of wonder and keep me motivated and determined. I hope this year will continue as the past with love, joy, hope, and discovery and learning, that we will all continue to not only endure, but challenge and face head on what ever lies ahead.

All I want for Christmas....

Helen has a homework assignment every week to write a story containing her spelling words. This weeks words were all about family ie. brother, sister, uncle, grandma, etc. She wrote a sweet story about how she wanted Andre to be her brother and how she wished he could be here for Christmas. I know that is probably not possible, with the agencies office being remodeled, they have not even been able to set up the match meeting yet. I guess I am not the only one anxiously waiting. What a great Christmas wish even if it happens a little late!

Anxiously waiting....

Adoption seems to be a slow process with it's twists and turns. Waiting is never easy...and when the agencies office is under construction and that is the obsticle between you and the match meeting for the child you KNOW is meant to be yours time seems to pass even slower. This is the reason updates and blog posts have slowed because other than waiting, there is not much new. We are simply waiting for the agency, case workers, and others involved to have a time to get together and meet and deside if they feel we are the right family for this child and then make a plan of how things should move forwards. We have already made our decision, this is our child and we have made things ready for him as much as possible.

Chill Out

Ethan's new comfy chair arrived and the same day I finally got a hold of the social worker for a boy who I have been wanting more info on for a long time....a picture and story that I keep coming back to and is still there after litterally YEARS. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we hear something back soon, but I know they are not in a real hurry after all this time, it is really about finding the RIGHT home for him. I just can't help but feel good about the situation this time, everything just FEELS right, but it is hard to be patient! Well it really got me thinking about the bedroom situation because this boy is Ethan's age and I don't really want to put him in a bedroom on his own.....but the boys have a LOT of equipment, and their beds take up A LOT of space, and we have already been seriously discussing modifying the house even more and since our bathroom has already been done for Ethan, we thought we might put the boys in the master bedroom and move us into the smaller room until we can build a new master suite. Our current room has plenty of space for two wheelchairs, two special beds, in addition to Ethan's gait trainer, and even space for some therapie mats for in home PT. Maybe now would be a good time to get a hoist to help get Ethan...and maybe his new brother (?) in and out of the bath tube, if like Ethan the other little boy does not like showers. There is even plenty of room in there for Ethan's special toilet and I have to admit it would be nice to have it in a permanant location. I even find myself wanting to move the special needs car seat into the van until we can get a second wheelchair tie down installed in the van. Anyway, it is going to be a busy weekend getting things organized....it will help keep me distracted. I am just glad I am getting over the cold I had last weekend and earlier this week. I am wondering if we need to order another comfy Chill Out Chair....even though it was expensive, I am actually really excited about the prospect of needing another!

Loved....

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all....

We were not selected as the family to adopt the sweet 8 month old little boy :0( But I am very glad this little guy has a family. I hope that one day these children will know how very loved and wanted they were. I know Our child is still out there somewhere waiting us to find them. We wish all the best in this world for Darius as he goes to his new family!

Keep you fingers crossed!!!!!

Timing is not the best but we just got news that we are being considered for a little boy with the same diagnosis as Ethan. We are very excited, but need to move fast to get things in order if we want to move forward with this little guy!!!! I am trying not to get too excited because we are only one of the potential families, but I know in my heart we have what it takes to parent this child :0)