Yeah....I know, everything happens for a reason

Well, it has been a while since I have posted anything on this blog, mainly because there was nothing neww and we were in kind of a limbo waiting for things to develop. Unfortunately, things did the opposite of materialize with the twins. It just did not work out and we had to withdraw from the situation. Maybe we are just meant to be foster parents for a while, or maybe there is another little one out there that needs us more. I know it is out of my hands. On the upside though, Andre is doing great....it is like he has always been our child and has been here with us his whole life. He and Ethan are inseperable buddies. He had surgery last month....it was harder on Ethan than it was on him. Ethan was so anxious not to be there and know what was going on every second, and the nurses totally melted when Ethan finally got to come see his brother and drove his chair right up to Andre's bedside, gently took his hand and couldn't stop saying "I love you Andre" over and over until andre came out of a daze of medication and smiled so big at him. It was the most precious thing ever and even with his limited articulation the nurses understood perfectly what he was saying. And we are just a month away from finalizing his adoption and everyone is so excited.

It's a boy....and a girl!

We have spent this past week visiting the twins we hope will be with us very soon. While it was hard to leave not knowing exactly when we would be back, it is good to be back in the comfort of home. Now. To get through all the paperwork and red tape, and hopefully several more visits and then we should be bringing them home! I had better start getting ready as I am sure the time will fly by this time....

Double Blessings

I am thinking it will only be a matter of days before I will have news that we will get to go for a visit to meet the twins we hope will be joining our family soon. Another brother and to my girls delight a sister too! We will have a very full house, full of children and extra full of love. We have been exploring the idea that we will soon need to make an extension onto the house, including a sensory/therapy/equipment room and a bedroom w/ an en suite bathroom to accomodate Ethan and Andre's needs ie. roll in shower, and special toilet because they are both at an age where they are going to go through tremendous growth spurts and I don't need to damage my back with continuous transfers from wheelchair to bath etc. Good thing we have a huge lot and plenty of room to add on!!!!

L-O-V-E

Our first photo shoot as a family of 7....hard to believe we could be doing this again in a few months as a family of nine!

Last training seminar???

...I hope. We have our last training class tomorrow for our foster license for special needs kids. We hadn't actually planned on finishing the foster license right now, but it was recommended by Andre's adoption team and means that he will continue to get his subsidies while we wait the six months to finalize the adoption. Tomorrow Andre will get to meet grandma and grandpa and other family members for the first time as well. So far he is doing really well adjusting to a new home and family and finally is in school after a long battle to have him placed in the same program as Ethan, and now it is only 2 weeks until school is out for summer holidays. We still hope to add more to our family and have a couple of prospects, but the waiting seems a lot easier now that we have Andre here and filling our spare time with getting to know him and taking care of him. This kids all love him and spoil him, even though he is older than all of them, they all are taking the roles of big brother and sister.

Placement

I had better post since we have had Andre since Friday night. Everything has gone so smoothly since he has come home. He is a very sweet boy and is fitting in nicely. He is really loving having the kids around and became quite sad when they got on the bus this morning to go to school but hopefully he will be getting on that bus with them in a couple days. The kids all got a stomach virus so that complicated things a bit but over all it was a very pleasent first weekend with our new son.

So many amazing women....

....doing wonderful things. Last night was the woman of the year banquet. What a special experience it was. I was "Ms. June" and we shared a table with "Miss May" who founded a non-profit that assists military families with a deployed family member. All of the women had amazing stories, and incredible causes that they were all very passionate about. It was both humbling and inspiring. The winner was Ruth Collins, who started AzBrainfood....who provide a backpack of healthy food to students who would not have any food over the weekend when they were not getting meals provided at school. She is an amazing woman with a very worthy cause!!!
I love events like this that really bring back the focus of what is important in life!

Ahhhhh......

It has been and excruciatingly tough week for me....over the weekend we found out about an urgent placement situation for a little boy who was born premature and suffered some brain damage. I was absolutly smitten and thrilled when I learned the fees were very low and within our budget. Early in the week there was a possibility that we would be picking up this baby today from the hospital. Everything came together so smoothly in the begining. It seemed so rock solid and then, it began to fall apart....things went awry there, and things happened here and my heart was broken. Yesterday we had to make the heartbreaking choice to let go of that hope. I am very sad, and it is really hard, because we also got some great news, our family will be travelling next week to finally meet Andre, and we are all very excited....It is hard to be so excited and yet grieving at the same time.

More waiting....

We "should" have a date this week for a meeting to be scheduled to meet Andre's team and start planning a transition. I am really hoping it will take significantly less time than it took to get the match meeting scheduled. I know transition is going to be difficult, expecially since Andre can not communicate easily, but I don't think delaying longer and longer will make it any easier, not for any of us. We are all very excited to meet him. Ethan wrote him a very sweet letter in school last week and has even learned to say his name and asks about him all the time. He is even more excited about this than he was about his wish trip. I am hoping that there is a possibility of having him come to the Mother's Day Pow Wow so he can meet some of our out of state family....not sure if that is too much to hope for, but I think it would be awesome for us to all be together as a family by then....it is a little over 9 weeks away. Hopefully soon we will have more news to share.

Happy Valentine's Day

I couldn't think of a better day to get the news we have been matched with our new son. Now to contain my excitement until the day we get to meet him!!!!!!

Match Meeting, a wedding and a birthday...

It is going to be busy here (as if it hasn't been the last little while) over the next week and a bit. Our new home study is done and I am very happy with it this time. Our match meeting is just days away (and I am SOOOOOO excited, not nervous) I can not wait! My brother is getting married the day after and it is a renaissance wedding and I need to finish the kids costumes as Helen keeps reminding me ;0) He is the last of eight of us to get married, the one who waited the longest (our two youngest sisters, 11 and 14 years younger! got married last spring) so I am sure it is going to be quite an event. Then next week, my baby, Chloe will be seven years old! I can't believe how much she has grown from the tiny, vulnerable little preemie she was, to this funny bundle of boundless energy and social butterfly. This weekend we will be preparing invitations for her first party where she will get to invite all her friends and she is so excited. She is also excited that for the next two months and a bit she will be "twins" with Mark, as he does not turn eight until the end of April.

We have a date!

Our match meeting is scheduled and in a few weeks we will know the answer that we have been waiting months to hear: If we are selected to be his forever family. For now we are busy with last minute things that we need to take care of, both sorting out a new agency to represent us and getting last minute things ready for if we are chosen and we bring our new little boy home. I am at peace, comfortable knowing we have made our choice already and knowing that there will be an end to the waiting soon and that it is completely out of our hands now. I probably won't have much more to write about until the metting happens in February. I have not even felt like looking at any other available adoption situation, and many have been presented to us. I just feel in my heart that this is the one that is meant for us, no need for a back up plan as I won't be giving up and letting go of this child.

What a year!

Sometimes it is really nice to be the first one up on the first day of a new year, to reflect on what the past year has seen you through...even more amazing to see what an incredible year it has been. I have to say that I am so pleased with what has been accomplished and what we have gotten through together, and that I couldn't have hand picked a better bunch of kids to parent, and I am not just talking about Ethan, though he continues to be my biggest inspiration. As I stood there watering all the newly planted crops in my green house, I thought on the challenges that together we have faced, the heartache we have endured, and the tasks we have conquered. I thought on the two baby boys that found their way into our hearts that we had longed to welcome into our family, the months of rollercoaster emotion, the bitter sweetness of loss mingled with the joy we felt for them as they found their forever families. The difficulty within myself as I reached for what I thought was an imposible dream, putting my heart on the line once again to reach out to a child who I know in my heart is meant to be a part of us, this family. Things have not moved as quickly and smoothly as I had hoped for this journey, but I know in the end it will all have been worth it. And while on this journey I have enjoyed and amazing experience. Watching my children grow, and mature, and accomplish things that at times I did not dare to dream or hope for. I am thankful that I have been able to keep an open heart and mind this year. I feel very blessed to have reconnected with my father, to start to explore my heritage and share that joy with my children. I share the joy with Ethan at accomplishing things that may seem small to other parents, but are tremendous accomplishments for a child with his challenges. I draw incredible strength from my husband, who is my rock, who loves me more than anything, even when we don't see things quite the same way. I feel passion for my kids, who keep me young, full of wonder and keep me motivated and determined. I hope this year will continue as the past with love, joy, hope, and discovery and learning, that we will all continue to not only endure, but challenge and face head on what ever lies ahead.