Our Adoption Journey!

A journal of our thoughts, feelings and steps in the process of adopting a child with significant special needs.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

I will remember you....always.

Dear Axle,

It is better to have loved and lost....than to never have loved at all. I don't know who coined that phrase and I am too busy to look it up as I quickly pen my thoughts today on what very well may be our last day with you. You are 5 months old and the light of my life, well one of them. I can't believe I let myself fall this deeply in love with you, but I guess that it is just part of your magic and wonder. Tomorrow already seems impossible, and the tears flow freely. You have spent a quarter of your short life with me and you have captured all our hearts and bonded so deeply with our family. I pray for your continued safety, that you will grow strong and always have a sense of belonging and know that you are very deeply loved by many, even if we don't get to share your life. I cherish your smiles, your giggles, our quiet midnight feeds. Your were (are) my rainbow in the midst of ominous dark clouds surrounding me. I have so many hopes and dreams for you, and I may never see them to fruition but I will continue to keep you in the deepest, softest, warmest place in my heart. These weeks we have shared has seen the start of some healing for my broken heart.....even though I know in a matter of hours it will be shattered again, I hope that we have given you the love and care that you deserved in your time of need. Be strong, run wild and free, grow wise and be generous and caring. I love you forever, I'll like you for always....as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.